


The dangers of loving a dangerous man

by The_darker_account



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, As dark as it can get, Hurt/Comfort, I dont know how to tagg, Just a dark fic okay?, Kidnapping, M/M, Much hurt, Not Beta Read, Painful Sex, Rape, Will get a little better tho!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-05 17:10:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18370442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_darker_account/pseuds/The_darker_account
Summary: Akira knew very well what he was getting into when he got into a relationship with this former yakuza member.But he didnt realised the actual dangers where this realistic.He didnt know there was someone there, standing around the corner when he openly showed his affection towards this man.And the moment he finally did know it was already way too late.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well... This is obviously going to be a ride full of dark stuff...  
> It's legit finally a piece so dark I felt the need to create an additional account for it just to post it. 
> 
> It's my first time even writing this particular ship as well as my first going into these type of topics, so be warned of it possibly not being that great. I just had the urge to go ahead and actually do it.
> 
> Also, one last reminder of the trigger warnings found in the tags and archive warnings! Stay safe!

‘’So, why are we here again?’’

‘’Because you promised me to take me on a date, remember? Your only condition was that it wasn’t too far, right?’’ Akira answered. It has been a while since the two of them got together into a relationship that could be classified as romantic, even though there never was much romance coming from the stern Iwai… Akira took every chance he could get to change that however.

Akira placed his hand onto Iwai’s, but he almost immediately pulled it back, which made Akira pout slightly. Iwai sighted and returned his hand, he was too weak for this boy. ‘’You really are touchy today…’’ He commented as Akira gladly took the chance to hold the hand again.

‘’Not really, you’re just more distant.’’ Akira returned. ‘’You embarrassed?’’ Akira asked, trying to tease the man in front of him a little.

It actually was a successful attempt too. ‘’That….’’ Iwai had a bit of trouble looking for the right words. ‘’That ain’t it.’’

Akira knew he had something. He always enjoyed taking Iwai into public, since his whole attitude changed from when it’s just them together in the shop. ‘’You don’t like being seen with me then…’’ Akira pouted once again, but he wasn’t being too serious about it, joking around like this was just too fun. The opportunity presented was just too good to not take.

Iwai however didn’t get Akira’s intentions yet. ‘’Hey, you know that isn’t true.’’ He reacted.

‘’Then why are you so distant? When you take someone on a date you have to act like it too!’’ Akira intentionally raised his voice a little. Partly to get Iwai a little more flustered than he already is, but also partly because he was genuinely getting a little frustrated. He understood their relationship might not be that much approved of, but frankly he didn’t care.

‘’Hey, keep your voice down a little.’’ Iwai warned. ‘’Just eat your food and we can get back to the shop, okay?’’ He added. He had no intention into drawing any attention upon them, he didn’t even know why he agreed onto a date in the first place.

Akira sensed a sense of urgency into Iwai’s voice, it had a scary undertone, so he decided to tone himself down a little. He wasn’t happy with it, but he didn’t want to go too far either.

The two of them continued their date without any more talking on the subject. Soon they returned back to the shop.

 

‘’So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong?’’ Akira asked as soon as the two of them got inside.

Iwai didn’t even have time to properly turn on the lights before getting hit with that question, and before he knew it Akira was practically completely against him. ‘’Give me some space at least. I’ll tell you then, okay?’’ Iwai said, just waiting for Akira to move.

Akira muttered something under his breath, but he complied and moved out of the way, hopping onto the counter instead. ‘’You’re really acting weird today.’’ He commented.

‘’Kid, listen, I get you’re just a carefree young one that just does everything without thinking, but that isn’t going to work.’’ Iwai’s voice was a bit harsh, but it was clear he wasn’t trying to be.

This tone did make Akira go quiet however. It was clear that whatever was bothering Iwai that it was serious at least. ‘’What do you mean?’’ Akira asked.

Iwai sighted. ‘’You know about my past, right?’’ He started. As Akira nodded he continued. ‘’Well, I still have many enemies roaming the city. Some who would do anything to get to me, even now.’’ He explained. He had actually been hesitant to get into a relationship with Akira in the first place, but there was something about this boy, something that made it impossible for him to refuse.

Getting told this finally made Akira realise what was going on. He was just being protected. ‘’I guess I should thank you for keeping me save.’’ Akira said.  ‘’Still I do think you’re overreacting, but fine.’’ He added. He appreciated it, but he wanted their date to be a little more, intimate… He knew those wishes were nothing but dreams, Iwai wasn’t that type of guy, but Akira was still a little disappointed.

Iwai could clearly see Akira wasn’t that pleased by his explanation. ‘’I’ll make it up to you, okay?’’ He offered.

Immediately Akira’s expression lit up. ‘’Really?’’ He jumped off the counter to practically jump into Iwai’s arms. _Strong, muscular arms…_

Iwai’s first response was to push Akira off, but he suppressed that idea. ‘’Of course, you get way too excited too fast though, kid.’’ He said as he returned the gesture by putting his arms around the boy.

‘’You’re just not fair…’’ Akira mumbled, almost too soft to be heard, into Iwai’s shirt.

‘’I know, I know a kid like you wouldn’t understand.’’ Iwai said rather softly. ‘’But just remember it’s for your own good.’’ He added.

Akira knew that arguing wasn’t going to get him anywhere, so instead he buried his face deeper into Iwai’s strong, but still soft chest. ‘’Fine…’’

This gesture made Iwai chuckle slightly. ‘’You really are an affectionate one, aren’t ya?’’ He joked. Then he moved away from the boy a little. ‘’It’s starting to get late though. You should better get going, before the trains stop running.’’

Akira was grumbling after hearing that. He didn’t want to leave yet, but he knew he didn’t really have much choice… ‘’Just, a little longer…’’ He mumbled.

And it did stay by just a moment. Iwai waited just a bit, before pushing the boy away in a soft manner. ‘’C’mon, you can come by any other time, but for now it’s getting late.’’ He said, already making his way to the door to let him out.

A very displeased Akira did end up following him. But as he stood outside he couldn’t contain himself, he turned around to quickly kiss the man that was about to close up the place.

‘’What did I literally just tell you?’’ Iwai wasn’t happy about it… He just told Akira to be careful of public affection, and now he gets kissed right the moment they step outside.

But Akira didn’t see the issue. ‘’No one comes here anyways!’’ He defended himself. ‘’Don’t worry so much, I’ll be fine.’’ He added.

The two of them said their goodbyes soon after, leaving in different directions into the night.

 

Iwai had just arrived at the shop the following morning when his phone buzzed. He didn’t mind it at first, he was busy opening up, but when he sat down behind the counter he finally looked.

And within seconds he stood up again.

_‘’Guess who we found at the station this morning! It’s your one weakness!!’’_

His mind turned and turned from reading those words. There was a picture attached to it, but Iwai already had a clear idea what would be in it.

And yes, even the last bit of hope he had for it to be anyone else he saw Akira’s face, all beat up, in the hands of someone he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Iwai did his best to keep his head cool, thinking about what this all meant. Normally when people wanted something from him they would’ve stated it immediately. This meant the only intention these bastards had was to hurt Iwai. Torturing by taking one he cared for.

There was no sense of hesitation within him. He got around to the back of the shop, opening a box he hoped he never had to open. Several guns laying inside. These, however, aren’t just models. They are the real deal, only kept around for an emergency situation like this.

Iwai knew where that bastard on the picture used to hide out, he had been there many times before. It could’ve been more than possible he had changed his location over time, but Iwai wasn’t even thinking about that at the moment.

The only thing he was thinking about was to get Akira out of there, safe. He didn’t want the kid to get hurt because of him, it was the only thing he had feared to happen. It was his fault for letting Akira get so close to him in the first place…

Iwai was nothing but a danger to anyone, first Kaoru got taken, now Akira too.

His mind kept spinning and spinning, but he kept himself going. All the way to the seemingly abandoned office building at the edge of the city.

 

Upon closer look it was clear that place was still in use. A few guys guarding the outside, but they were in such a small quantity Iwai could sneak past them with ease. He didn’t want to take any lives anymore, but he would do anything to get his boy back safe.

 

Akira had no idea where he was, or even what happened. The last thing he remembered was getting onto the train this morning. Or, did he even get on?

His mind was fuzzy, he couldn’t think straight for even a second. He did his best to look around the room. It was then that he noticed his hands were bound behind his back, he himself laying down flat on his stomach.

The room was dark, too dark to make out any details. It was clear that the place was rather empty though, but that was all he could see.

Then, all of a sudden, he got completely blinded by a bright light. Someone slammed the door open, turning on the lights, and loudly walked towards the helpless boy.

‘’So, you’re Iwai’s boy toy huh?’’ The man spoke as he pulled Akira’s head up by his hair. ‘’To think he would actually score such a young one, a high schooler even!’’ He then exclaimed, forcefully slamming Akira’s face back into the floor.

‘’Let me go!’’ Akira tried to sound forceful, not realising there wasn’t any powers in his words when he was bound tight like this.

The guy just laughed loudly at him. ‘’You really think it’s gonna be that easy kid?’’ He said. ‘’Well, sorry to shatter your cute little dream, but you’ll never be free again.’’

These words scared Akira, making him shiver all the way through his core. _What did he mean by that?_

But his silent question was already being answered. ‘’You know, it isn’t so weird for Iwai to have picked up a kid like you. In fact, he had always had a thing for the younger ones. He wasn’t the only one either’’ He said while walking around. ‘’Which is exactly why I’m gonna keep you. You’re going to become a tool, for everyone who wants to pay me.’’ He almost whispered.

‘’No, please.’’ Akira said softly. He knew his words weren’t going to do anything, but he had to say something. He couldn’t just accept it like this.

Another laugh coming from the man walking in circles around him. But then he stopped walking, while right behind Akira. ‘’You know what, since you already appear to have shown a liking in older men anyways I think you’ll do just fine.’’ He said as he lowered himself to his knees.

_‘’Let’s get you a taste of what’s gonna be your life, you stupid kid.’’_

 

Iwai has made his way into the building. Several people inside had recognised him and ran away immediately. He was glad, he didn’t want to engage with them in any ways, most probably had nothing personal to do with the situation at all. They could be nothing but puppets listening to their boss, and

The inside was like a maze. Endless empty hallways with a lot of empty rooms. This was a normal occurrence, it was the perfect system. Only those who are known know the way, infiltrators are destined to wander indefinitely.

Sadly for them someone who knew about this, someone who knew about this specific place, was the one to infiltrate.

‘’No, please stop!!’’

Cries could be heard into the distance. Cries from a voice Iwai instantly recognised.

‘’I… Stop!’’

The cries became louder and louder. It was almost already too much for Iwai to hear. He just had to find the right door.

 

Before Akira knew it his clothes were teared to sheds. ‘’Stop! No!!’’ He screamed out. His lower legs were held down by the knees of the guy, his ass violently shoved upwards.

‘’Better get used to it boy.’’ The man said, and although Akira couldn’t see, he could feel the grin on his face.

Akira’s lower half was completely exposed. He was crying out loud, begging for it to all stop when the man began to touch his bare skin. Fondling his balls a little too harshly. ‘’No!!!’’ He kept yelling, his throat beginning to hurt from it.

But the man never stopped, well, he did for only a second. But when the hands finally left his body a loud sound of a zipper was being heard. ‘’Let’s train that fine asshole of yours a little before I sell you off.’’ He was clearly enjoying it.

And before Akira could even beg for him to stop again a sharp pain silenced him. The large dick of the man ripping open his insides without warning. Akira screamed even louder than before, the pain being too much to handle.

The guy didn’t show any mercy, he began to move at a too quick pace instantly. Akira unable to see anything due to the tears and pain, just screaming, crying and begging for it all to stop.

**BANG**

Akira didn’t even notice the door opening, but he did hear a loud sound filling the room moments later. It wasn’t until he felt the man falling on him, not moving, that he realised what had happened. Akira could feel the blood of the gunshot wound staining his shirt. The pulsing of the dick still inside him stopping all movement too.

But he didn’t have much time to think about that either, as the body on top of him was violently thrown aside soon. He still couldn’t see through his tears, but he had a feeling what happened. He felt hands reaching to his own, unbinding him. ‘’I’m so sorry.’’ A soft voice whispered to Akira, a voice he recognised instantly.

The one voice he was hoping to hear the entire time. Hearing that voice made him burst into even more tears.

‘’It’s okay, you’re save now.’’ Strong arms pulled Akira up slowly, not trying to overwhelm, and pulled him into a strong embrace.

Akira still couldn’t do anything but cry, nothing but hiding his face into Iwai’s arms.

They took a moment, a moment for Akira to come by again. He definitely wasn’t going to be fine anytime soon, but Iwai needed him to at least be able to get out.

But they didn’t get that much time, soon voices were being heard, people running down the hallways. They have heard the loud sound of a gunshot and came to investigate. ‘’I’m sorry, but we have to go.’’ Iwai spoke softly as he released Akira. Getting the both of them up too.

Before they took their leave Iwai put his coat around Akira’s body. The boy’s clothes were completely ruined, there was no way he could get on the streets like that.

Akira gladly accepted the piece of clothing, it made him feel a little more safe. ‘’Come, let’s get out of here.’’ Iwai grabbed Akira’s hand tightly, dragging him along back through the halls.

 

They managed to get out without encountering anyone. But as soon as they turned around the corner, away from the building, Akira collapsed to his knees.

Iwai looked around him, this wasn’t the safest place to be at the moment, but he couldn’t force Akira to move on either. ‘’You okay?’’ He got to his knees beside Akira, speaking softly again.

Akira was crying once again, violently shaking his head, unable to speak.

_‘’They can’t have gone far! Search the entire area!’’_

They had to leave, right now! But it was clear that Akira was not capable to get anywhere in this state. So Iwai did the only thing he could. He stood up. ‘’I’m sorry, but I have to do this.’’ He said before forcefully pulling Akira back up with him.

Then he picked the boy up. ‘’Hang on tight.’’ He said, before running with Akira inside his arms, clinging onto him like a koala. If the situation wasn’t so bad it would’ve been kind of cute.

Iwai made a direct sprint towards his car, which he had parked not too far, and took Akira too his place immediately.

Akira didn’t speak, in fact, he didn’t react to anything at all anymore. He was just blankly staring into space. He was empty, traumatized for life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a short thing, yet for some reason this second chapter ended up seriously long.. (And I have even cut it short too, damn)  
> It appears that 1. I have regained a bit of my writing drive I've lost a while ago and 2. I just love writing the painful aftermath more.

The car ride was quick, but silent all the way through. It was unsettling in its own way, usually when the two of them were together there was nothing but talking. Talking mostly coming from Akira’s side, but now he couldn’t say a single word.

Everything he had gone through in this short amount of time kept flashing before his eyes. How all of a sudden he found himself surrounded by men he didn’t know, how he felt a gun press in his back as he was led to a van.

The moment he realised he had to fight back, but already was too late. How his hands were tied while he kept kicking, some unknown drug injected into him.

And the very next thing he knew he was there, in that room, with that one man. He could so vividly remember the pain he felt when that man… When he entered him.

But what was maybe the feeling that has scared him the most was the moment he got saved. He was glad Iwai got to him, definitely, but the way he could just feel the man die inside of him. The way he fell on top of his own body, completely lifeless and getting blood everywhere.

That moment, Akira still felt the weight on top of his body, the pressure within him.

And there was no way he could ever get over any of this again.

 

Iwai on the other hand just had one concern. ‘Get the boy somewhere safe.’

He felt fully responsible for everything that had happened. It was him who dragged this innocent boy in his dangerous life after all. Deep down he knew he couldn’t have done anything, anything beside having refused Akira inside his life entirely. But he never even thought about any of that when they first truly got together, and now he felt stupid for not doing so.

It was too dangerous for him to have any sort of relation. He had known that the entire time. Yet there was something with Akira that made him completely forget, something that had given him hope it didn’t have to be like that.

And look where that hope had gotten him. Now he’s driving way above the speed limit with this same boy, who’s last bit of innocence got completely shattered. He had broken him. It was nothing but his own fault for not thinking, for hoping that maybe he too could have something good in his life.

 

When the car had finally came to a stop Iwai got his mind back together. Now was not the time to get depressed, he had to help his lover out the best he could.

To his surprise Akira exited the vehicle all by himself while he was on his way to go around to get him. ‘’You okay kid?’’ He asked, offering to support Akira at least.

But Akira rejected the hand reaching out to him, his arms holding himself tightly as he stared at the ground. He did manage to nod, but never did he look up to meet Iwai’s eyes.

There was nothing Iwai could do, nothing beside slightly sighting and getting the two of them to his little apartment he shared with Kaoru.

Now that he thought about it… That boy would probably be home by now. How is he going to explain this all to his son?

He couldn’t tell much. Too much details would definitely scar that boy too, but even a mention of Akira being kidnapped by his old ‘co-workers’ could spark a lot of fear into him too. Kaoru would be considered his second weakness after all.

At the same time Iwai couldn’t just tell his son nothing. Kaoru would see Akira, his body all bruised up, blood all over his clothes. There was no way he would believe it was nothing.

Iwai didn’t have any idea how to deal with the situation when he got to the front door, but he couldn’t stay out there to think, he had to get Akira safe inside first.

So when he opened the door he hoped Kaoru was at least in his room to do homework or anything. At least then he could get Akira cleaned up a little so that the shock was a little less… Shocking.

Sadly luck really wasn’t at his side that day. He found Kaoru right in the hallway the moment the door opened. ‘’Welcome home da-‘’ It took nothing but seconds for Kaoru to notice Akira. He had seen him before, he even knew of the relationship he had with his dad, but what he saw was nothing like the mature but playful guy he had gotten to know.

What he saw was a clearly broken vessel of that same person. Broken both in his damaged body as well as inside.

There were a few moments of silent staring, a few moments before Iwai readjusted himself to the situation. He really wasn’t having his day. ‘’Could I ask you to get a bath running?’’ He asked of Kaoru. He knew there wasn’t much he could say, the look in his son’s eyes made it clear he knew exactly what was going on.

‘’Yes, of course.’’ Kaoru didn’t ask any questions and got to the task immediately, making a straight line for the bathroom while looking at Akira one last time. There really wasn’t anything left of him at all anymore.

Iwai then guided Akira towards the small living room, setting the boy onto the couch for a little second to wait while he got him a glass of water.

Akira didn’t touch the glass when offered. He hadn’t gotten anything to drink or eat since early morning, but he just couldn’t move. His thoughts have all blurred together by this point. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t say anything.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Iwai wanted to apologize, even though he knew no apology would make any of what happened any better. It wouldn’t magically heal Akira from this, but he felt more than obligated to do so. ‘’I should’ve realised this would happen. I…’’ He couldn’t find any of the right words. He blamed no one but himself, but he couldn’t just outright say their entire relationship has all been nothing but a mistake? It was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to him, and Akira had always seemed so sincerely happy the entire time too.

Akira however still didn’t react. He was shaking and stuck in his own head. He had heard everything Iwai said, and he did want to say something, but he just couldn’t. His mouth wouldn’t move and images kept flashing before his eyes.

Iwai noticed the increase in shaking and fear in Akira’s eyes, so he moved over, attempting to comfort the boy. Yet the moment his hand touched his shoulder Akira flinched heavily, his shaking increasing even more, now crying vividly too. He scooted away all the way to the corner of the couch, his knees popped up to his chest.

This sight alone was enough to break Iwai’s heart even more. This boy, that has always been so touchy and happy, now runs away from even the slightest touch of his hands. He couldn’t do anything but stare. He didn’t know what to do anymore, or what to say.

Finally Kaoru came into the room to tell them the bath was ready. This different voice apparently did get Akira a little back to reality, as he got up to get there immediately. Kaoru accompanied him, in complete silence.

 

The moment Kaoru returned to the living room Iwai still wasn’t nearly ready. He knew he had to explain, but he still didn’t know how. ‘’I suppose you have some questions…’’ Iwai started.

‘’The guys from your old, job, got to him, didn’t they? Just like how that one person found me once.’’ Kaoru started. He had been in a somewhat similar situation before too, though he himself got out practically unharmed.

It shocked Iwai at first, but then he realised he was dealing with an incredible smart kid. ‘’Yes… This kid got a little less lucky though.’’ Was the only thing he could say. He didn’t want to get too much into detail. _He didn’t want his kid to know he killed a man again._

Kaoru looked visibly uncomfortable just thinking about what could’ve happened. ‘’His whole clothes were soaked in blood…’’ He stated. It wasn’t a question. ‘’He’s extremely scared to come close to anyone too, right? It’s more than understandable considering what he looks like now.’’

The way Kaoru spoke about what he saw pained Iwai deep inside. This kid was supposed to be spared from the dark and sinister sides of his old life, yet he has now seen and experiences so much. Has he really destroyed the innocence of both the ones he cared most for? ‘’It’s best to not know the details.’’ Iwai reacted, even when he didn’t really know whether that was still the case. Now that he kept quiet Kaoru could freely imagine what could’ve happened, and usually the imagination goes beyond the truth.

He just couldn’t get himself to say another word. The thought alone hurts him so much.

 

Akira found himself alone in this bright room. He felt relieved to not have anyone around him, but at the same time it felt lonely, and dangerous.

He undressed himself from the clothes he wore, now coloured a brownish red from the dried up blood. When he was done he automatically made his way over to the mirror, staring at his now naked body.

Bruises covered the entirety of his skin, some fairly visible ones on his wrists from being tied down. And… A few very big ones located on his hips, originating from… The Moment.

Akira couldn’t even look himself in the eyes, he didn’t want to see the absolute mess he had become, instead his eyes trailed along his hair. A sticky mess, if he looked closely he could see the dark red colours coming through.

It took him a few moments of pure staring at something he didn’t even recognise as his own body before he finally shifted back. Shaking his head before getting himself into the bath.

He wasn’t done yet however. The moment he lowered himself the water around him began to turn colour. It was an expected thing to happen, Akira knew it would, but the sudden sight of the red-coloured swirls moving around his body, spreading more and more, did something to him again. It broke the last part of him that was still trying to stay strong.

Akira curled up in the smallest ball possible, holding his legs close, as he began to sob once again. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he felt nothing but pathetic, yet he couldn’t control it.

Moments went by, moments until he finally seemed to be out of tears. He didn’t know how long it had been, but he did manage to recollect himself for a little moment to quickly clean off his hair and get out.

Akira didn’t even look back at the tub, he knew that he would break instantly when he did.

And he would’ve been right. In and around looked like a murder scene in itself.

 

By the time Akira came out of the bathroom Kaoru had gone to his room. It was already late at night and he had to get up early for school again the following morning. The way Akira poked his head around the corner, still keeping his distance, made clear to Iwai he still hadn’t calmed down.

‘’Come, you can sleep in my room. I’ll be here on the couch, okay?’’ Iwai offered. He would’ve preferred to stay with him, keeping him close, safe, but considering Akira’s current state that wasn’t an option.

Akira nodded and moved away when Iwai came up to guide him. Iwai simply opened his door and let him in. It took Akira a little moment, but he did got in and sat on the side of the bed, looking away at the ground.

It took a lot of Iwai to not to take the boy into his arms then and there. He didn’t tend to express it, but deep down he cared very deeply for him, he wanted to comfort, to protect, yet he couldn’t do either of those. ‘’Call for me whenever you need something, I’ll be close by, okay?’’ He offered, trying to walk away.

But the moment he took the door in his hands to close it there was a sense of shock in Akira’s eyes. ‘’Don’t.’’ He said, though his voice remained soft. He didn’t want the door to close, he didn’t want to feel trapped.

This took Iwai by a lot of surprise. He didn’t expect to even hear that voice anytime soon, let alone like this. ‘’Do you want me to keep the door open?’’ He asked, not really sure what to do. Akira nodded, now trying to find a way to hurl himself into the blankets. ‘’Alright then. I’ll be right down the hall, try to get some sleep.’’

With those words Iwai walked away, leaving the boy alone, fully curled up in his blankets. He really felt useless like this, unable to help in any way…

 

Iwai decided to check the bathroom, he was certain it wasn’t going to be in any good state. What he found made him absolutely sick. It wasn’t the first time he had seen anything like it, not at all, but the thought that Akira had experienced any of it made him feel terrible.

The only thing he could do was clean it up so that no one had to see a sight like that again. He hoped so at least.

When he was done he just got to sit on the couch. He was in no way even remotely capable to fall asleep, he was already fully prepared to stay awake through the night. Preferably he would spent his time looking over Akira, sitting at the side of the bed making sure nothing ever happened to him again, but he couldn’t. He had to give the kid some space, no matter what he wanted.

 

He didn’t know how much time had gone by, but suddenly Iwai got shaken out of his thoughts by sounds. First he didn’t know what they were, but eventually he identified them as cries.

It didn’t take him any more time to realise where these were coming from, he ran in one straight line to his room, where he found Akira rustling and turning in the sheets.

‘’No’’

‘’Stop, please’’

The cries coming from Akira were almost as loud as they were earlier. The only difference is that now he was safe in a bed, although he didn’t know that now.

It was the last words spoken that really did something.

‘’Iwai, please. Help.’’

Iwai couldn’t stay and watch by the door anymore, he got in and got to sit at the side of the bed. He didn’t want to touch Akira, cause he was insanely worried he would startle him even more, but he at least wanted to be there. ‘’It’s okay, I’m here. You are safe.’’ He said softly, attempting to get through to Akira while he was experiencing all this in his sleep.

The sound of his voice did seem to have some effect, as the turning became a little less, but it wasn’t over yet. ‘’Save me, please.’’ Akira’s cries continued, though they have softened slightly.

‘’I did, no one can hurt you ever again, I will make sure of that.’’ Iwai continued to talk towards the boy. There was nothing else he could do after all. ‘’I’m so sorry this has happened to you…’’ He mumbled more to himself.

‘’No!’’

With a loud scream Akira sat up straight, completely shaking and crying. He was frightened, but as he looked around the place he saw the one familiar person. He didn’t even think, he just clung to the one bit of safety he had.

Iwai was shocked to suddenly have Akira hanging on to him like this. It was really unexpected considering his behaviour that night, but he readjusted himself immediately. His arms holding the boy in a tight grip, wanting to make sure Akira calmed down again. ‘’It’s okay. It’s all over. You are safe now.’’ He whispered softly.

Akira couldn’t say a word, he was just crying into Iwai’s shoulder. ‘’Safe.’’ Akira eventually managed to mumble out in between his sobs. He had to repeat that words once again to realise.

‘’I’m so sorry.’’ Iwai said. He felt the need to apologize to Akira once again. ‘’It’s all my fault.’’ He continued to ramble on. Even he himself feeling tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.

The two of them stayed in that position ever till Akira’s breathing had evened out again as he had fallen back to sleep. Iwai couldn’t leave him again, so he just laid the two of them down and held the boy close to his chest. Eventually he too managing to finally get some sleep.

 

The following morning Akira found himself waking up onto something warm. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but he just hugged it tighter, the feeling comforted him. It was then that he heard a sound and felt an arm moving, which made him realise more where he was.

Opening his eyes he found himself in a brightly lit room, the sun shining through the windows in a nice glister. His head on top of Iwai’s soft chest, his arms around him. The feelings of fear he had felt last night all were vanished at that moment. He knew they would return, but at least he could have this moment, feeling completely safe for a bit.

Akira snuggled up even more against the other’s body, who in turn got woken up too. As Iwai looked down he saw nothing but a cute, innocent ball curled up on top of him. For a little while he forgot everything that had happened, for a while he forgot what this ball had gone through because of him.

Both didn’t want this moment to end yet, so they just remained. Akira curled there, almost falling asleep by the sound of Iwai’s heartbeat, and Iwai just looking down, stroking the boy’s hair. It wasn’t like him to do so, he wasn’t that much of these soft gestures, but he wanted to anyways. He wanted Akira to feel as safe and as comfortable possible. _And that hair sure is soft, damn._

 

It was already quite a while later when noises could be heard from outside the room. Kaoru was making himself ready to go to school. He definitely tried to be as quiet as possible, but there’s no way to stay completely silent.

The noises startled Akira, signalling to Iwai the boy was awake too. ‘’Good morning.’’ Iwai said.

Akira lifted his head to look Iwai in the eyes. ‘’Hey.’’ He said softly. He didn’t quite know what to say, he didn’t know what to do.

‘’Are you feeling a little better now?’’ Iwai asked. Immediately after he realised just how stupid of a question that must’ve been. It was almost as if he asked Akira how his cold was. This was nothing like it at all.

But to his surprise Akira reacted normally. ‘’I suppose.’’ He said. He didn’t feel great, but at least at the moment he was surprisingly fine.

The reaction Akira gave reassured Iwai a little. The boy could finally talk again. ‘’I…’’ He didn’t know how to continue. Did he start talking about what happened? Wouldn’t that just make Akira get back to not talking again? He had no experience in these things, and it showed.

He was in luck however, Akira began the conversation himself. ‘’It’s not your fault.’’ He said. Akira remembered just parts of what happened last night, but he did know Iwai kept apologizing.

Now it was Iwai’s turn to be at a loss for words. He didn’t expect the kid to say anything about it, let alone about his apologies. ‘’I was the one dragging you into this mess in the first place though.’’ He said. There was no way this wasn’t because of him. Just no way.

‘’Not really. I chose to be with you, even when I knew the risks.’’ Akira defended. He had known the possible dangers for a long time, but never did he truly think any of it would ever become reality. ‘’I don’t think of my choice as a mistake either, if that’s what you’re thinking.’’

That last part just hit Iwai quite deep. How can someone not think of it as a mistake when they get dragged into something like this? When they get permanently scarred and traumatized just because of him. ‘’If you didn’t you would’ve been fine though. Nothing would’ve happened to you.’’

Akira just looked at Iwai, a little bit confused. ‘’If I didn’t I wouldn’t have been with you.’’ He simply reacted.

Iwai just didn’t know how to react. He wasn’t good at this sorta lovey dovey stuff. He tried to show by action however, brushing Akira’s soft hair aside to kiss his forehead. ‘’You sure know how to talk, kid.’’ He said, before returning to his usual self again.

‘’Someone has to do it.’’ Akira reacted. He knew very well how Iwai wasn’t good at reacting to any form of relationship talk, and he really loved taking advantage of it. Especially when it was a great way to lighten the mood. But the mood had to swift darker soon. They had to talk about what happened one day, and it’s best to get to it soon instead of endlessly circling around it. ‘’You know, it might’ve been more my fault anyways for not listening to your warnings.’’ He added, re-introducing the topic, no matter how much remembering was going to hurt.

‘’There was no way of really knowing. You’re just an innocent kid.’’ Iwai said. He did try to warn the boy, but he also had always known there was no real use into it. ‘’It was the fault of the guys who took you, not yours.’’

‘’Then it wasn’t yours either.’’ Akira commented back. He was still thinking about how Iwai kept blaming himself, and he had to make sure that he knew it wasn’t his fault.

Iwai laughed slightly. ‘’I suppose so. Good job turning that one right at me.’’ He reacted. Then a more serious question came to his mind. ‘’I was unable to ask you last night, but are you hurt somewhere? Physically I mean.’’ At first glance there wasn’t much to see beside some bruises, but he wanted to make sure he didn’t have to take Akira in for medical treatment anywhere.

Akira shook his head. ‘’I’m fine, mostly.’’ He reacted, focussing on his body he could feel a big part of his muscles in pain, he could feel some of the bruises across his skin. But most of all… He felt the sore pain of where he was… entered.

All of a sudden Akira started crying once again. He didn’t even know he had any more tears left. The sudden reminder of the feelings he had experienced where still way too much for him to handle. ‘’Shit.’’ Iwai muttered under his breath, unsure of what to do, cussing himself out in his mind for just making the situation bad again.

‘’I… It hurt.’’ Akira rambled. ‘’The beating, him throwing me on the ground… The… The way he entered me without a warning. It felt like he was ripping me apart inside, I-I…’’ He was shaking heavily now, unable to finish his sentence.

The only thing Iwai could do was hold the boy close to his chest again. ‘’It’s okay. You’re save now.’’ He said softly. ‘’There’s nothing he could ever do to you again.’’ He added. Although he still felt terrible for having taken his first life in so long, it was at least a reassurance the same thing wouldn’t happen again.

But what Akira said next shocked Iwai to his very core. ‘’I know… I could feel him die.’’

Iwai had never even thought about this, about how much such a particular feeling could scar an already traumatized kid even further. He didn’t even think about the possibility of being able to feel such a thing, but now he felt even worse than ever before. ‘’I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking at all at that moment.’’ He offered another apology. Now he even felt regret for killing. Not because that bastard deserved to live, but for the unnecessary additional scars he had left his Akira with.

Akira couldn’t do much beside crying, gripping Iwai’s shirt as tight as he could. ‘’I know.’’ He mumbled in between his sobs. He understood Iwai had no intent to do such a thing to him, but the reminder alone was just too much to handle for him at the moment.

‘’I shouldn’t have acted upon such a blind rage.’’ Iwai wasn’t done apologizing yet. ‘’I should’ve thought about the consequences. I should’ve stopped myself.’’ He felt like he hadn’t improved at all since his time in the Yakuza. He felt like he was still as bad as he was back then.

The two stayed like this for a while. Akira sobbing quietly into Iwai’s chest while Iwai kept mumbling apologies. Recovery from this was going to be a long progress, a very long one. It was going to be tough for the both of them, but maybe they could make it work, as long as they stayed together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows, maybe one day I do end up writing a continuation... Got some ideas, but I can't promise anything at the moment.  
> We shall see.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah....
> 
> I can at least say the worst has already been and I'm gonna dedicate an entire second chapter just to make it a little better again! (The damage has already been done though)
> 
> :)


End file.
